Writing after a long time

I was not writing from a very long time.....
My contract with the office had ended so now I am staying at home
with no work to do....preparing for interviews..........
The office had to end(18th december 2008) one day before the
contract period completes(17th december 2008).....they have
returned money to every body and closed the office......
I was absent on 17th because there was bandh and the busses were
not running......I got a call from hafeez that the office is closing
down and they are returning money so i went to office with my brother
on his bike and got the checks for Rs 9333. It was a post dated check.
which i have diposited in one of my banks after few days and got the money
deposited in my account......We were asking for experiance certificate
...so they asked us to come after few days to collect them.........one
day i got a call from chennai asking to go and collect certificates...
I went next day. It took me 3 1/2 hours to reach the office....it was
disgusting to know that the parcel from chennai has not yet reached the office.
....I was asked to come next day to collect them.....I went in the morning
and was waiting form 9:00 AM till 11:00 AM waiting for ahmed sir to come....
At last he came and handed over to me my experiance certificate and pay slip...
Hafeez had asked me to take his certificates. Ahmed sir gave me chandus certificates
as he was not able to come to office.....
I had given Resume in mukhaffam jah college but till date I havent received
call for interview.....

Changed Firewall Settings

Today for the first time I changed my firewall settings. Windows XP has a built in firewall but I Installed some other firewall software on
my System to make it more Secure.I have come to know that there were many programs which were trying to access Internet. I blocked them and
that didnt make any difference.....I mean I was able to access Internet without any problem....I dont know why those programs were trying to
access Internet...One thing could be that they are trying to update some software on internet and the other thing could be that there is some
program, a trojan something which is trying to send information every few minutes on Internet....I just blocked all unwanted programs from
accessing Internet....My Internet connection worked fine for about one hour after making changes to my firewall settings....then it started
giving probs....My system was on Network but was not connecting me Internet.....and when it was connecting me to Internet it was just showing
that I got connected to Internet and was not opening any pages.....Why is this thing acting like this....Is there some body trying to block my
Internet connection....Or could there be ISP problem......I am 100% shore that there is no mistake in firewall settings....It was working very well
for one hour.....I disconnected and got connected many times in that one hour.....So I think this is not normal if its giving me problem after chaning
firewall settings....

Google Reader

Few days back somebody visited my blog www.lifes-hell.blogspot.com . Who could that be. It showed to me that he came from google.com
,but when I tried to track the location It lead me to google reader page. I havent put that site in my shared blogs. I dont know how
that person was able to come to my blog blog.......I checked my other blogs. The Beauty Care blog was attracting some traffic. I checked
my windows tips and tricks site which showed few visits....I was checking my windows tips and tricks blog after a very long time and was
not expecting any visits but was happy to see few of them....I wanted to increase some more traffic to my main blog ....my Beauty care blog.
I searched for it on internet and found some useful content....I am shore it will increase my earning....I dont know when I am going to make
changes to my blog because I dont have time and my net connection is going to expire....While searching I stumbled upon a blog where many
people were asking how to make free calls from their mobile, How to clone their mobile, How to hack peoples E-Mail accounts and Orkut
accouts....and others who have a little brain were trying to fool these people and get their ID and Password.They were giving some Reasons
why they want to know those things......I dont know what they want to destroy somebody privacy...I really felt bad. I decided to create a
blog which will contain some information about how people can make them fool on net and get their password...some cell phone tricks...and
a lot of usefull information....

First friday after Ramadan

I reached office early. I knew that many people will not turn up because they went home to spend time with
their family. They took leave on friday so that they can be with their family from 1st(Wednesday) till
5th(Sunday)....I was expecting that only 3 pople from star referal, 1 from nibav and 1 from myqob will turn up.
But when the time was 10:30 I could see faces whome I was not expecting to turn up. So there were 2 people from
nibav, 3 from star referal and 2 from myqob....There was nothing to do today...as I had completed my work...
Actually nobody had work today except spoks...they had meeting with karna...At around 10:30 AM Rambabu came
and told that Dev will not turn up for another 10 to 15 days as his mother has expired. He asked us to mail him
and give him condolence......I was thinking for long time what he might be feeling like...He lost his mother...
I had my mom and dad but still I fell that I dont have any body in this world and I am alone....Then I some how
managed to get off all those thoughts from my mind by watching phunnys game which he was playing on PC for time pass.
Vasu came and sat few seets away from us checking if the AC is working behind her...I said non of the AC's on our flore
are working...I had informed about it to Rambabu but he didnt do anything about it...after 2 hours AC mechanic came and
was checking all the AC's...Then the thought came in my mind was I loud....did Rambabu hear the conversating between me
and Vasu... Karna first said that the meeting will be at 1:00 then he told he was busy so he told the spoks to call him
at 3:00PM.But when they rang him he told them to call him at 5:30 PM.Spoks of all the groups were present execept our
group.Both spok and back up spok were on leave so satya told karna that there is nobody to attend meeting from our group...
He said he will have meeting with us on monday....Jaggu was leaving early becase he didnt bring his bike and was going with
some body else...I asked him if he can stay for some more time because I was going to give Eid party which they were asking
for....He said that he is fasting so he could not attend the party...He was the only person from my group but he too was
fasting....Now the star referal was left. All the members of star referal were present ...I was expecting chandu to be on
leave but he said that he will take leave on dasehra.....We went to bakery...they ate what ever they wanted...they wanted
me too to have something with them but I said that I was fasting ....but I was not...Actually I didnt wanted to eat in front
of Rozedaars..The shop owners were muslims...I was feeling a little stupid because I was giving party for the worst ever
Eid of mine....After every body finished I paid the bill....I had given them a party of Rs 120....I dont know what they had
and how many items they had ....It was 5:30 when i left for home and I reached home at 7:45 PM even though I got a direct bus...

Is this Eid

After Eid prayer I came home, had my food and slept. My mom and dad went to meet relatives. They asked
me too to join them but I said that I dont want to meet any body....This was one of the sadest day for
me...It was the worst ever Eid for me...Last night my cell phone battery went down completely....I didnt
wanted to attend any calls so I didnt recharg it...

Last day of Ramadan

Todat its Last day of Ramadan. I had decided that I am not going to celebrate Eid today. Since this
was the worst ever Ramadan of mine.I had been given holiday today and tomorrow. Actually they wanted
to give me holiday only on 1st but many employees of our company are from other places so they gave
one more holiday so that they can go home and enjoy holiday....

Hecktic day at office

I reached office. saw shree and vasu getting out off their auto. I waved them hi and went to my
seat in office and started working...I wanted to be early to office but the bus started late...
Today I had to compete Test data sheet. Could do very little of it because there was power cut for
every couple of hours and the data was not saved so I had to start working on the file again and again.
Ebrahim said its meeting today and he was trying to blame me for few things....He wanted me to go
through the defets and get ready so that when karna asks I have to tell him what defects I have found...
But he was not ready to understand that I have detected 75 defects ..How can I remember them.....
Its not one or two defects that others have found in their modules...Hafeez wanted to go early..So he
left when the power went off...I too wanted to leave but since I had lot of work I couldnt leave....
After few minutes I could still see Hafeez in office ...He said he got a call from ebrahim asking him to
come back to office...I thought it was just their plan ...may be they wanted to see if I will leave office
early keeping work pending...At 4:25 PM I left office...

sunday...pain

They have distroyed me....I dont know if there are any more good quealities left in me ....for them
to distroy....I hope they know what they are doing......they have given birth to a beast.....those
bast****...mother F****** will be responsible for any thing happening......to..any ..body...I know
What my parents have thought for me......and why they dont care much for me.....when it had to end
on some day...why not kill some body who is one of those who has torchered you .... and enjoys your
pain.....Once cought I will give that Mother F***** such a painfull death that no body will ....
ever.... ever dare to even think of doing this to any body ........

Slept whole Day

I prefer to sleep most of the day On weekends........That was one way I could think of to
stop myself from taking my mind away from thoughts that my parents ruined me...joining hands..
with those basterds.....They are unique Mom and Dad.......I still cant believe that they joined
hands with my enemies and ...made my life hell......

Had Nothing to do at office

Though I reached at my destination early I didnt stop at bus stop for taking rest as
it was very crowded.....I went straight to office....checked my mails .........Then
I was just passing time since I didnt had any thing to do....all the members of our
team finished executing test cases execept ebrahim...He was our spok......All the spoks
had meeting with karna......He asked Shree to take the control of our team as our spok
couldnt complete his work on time.....Today Rambabu was on leave and Dev was already on
leave....I saw every body using Internet ....as there was nobody at office to stop them
from using it....

Taken leave from office today

I dont know why?...from yesterday I was very drowsy.....I slept half of the day...
as I took leave today from office...Our family had planned a gathering at my aunts
house as it was my grandmas death anniversary....They postponed it to tomorrow
because one of my other aunty said that she cant come tomorrow....The rest of my day
went crying....

Completed Execution of test cases

Today I wanted to be at office at 9:00 Am But since the bus started late I reached office at 9:30 AM.
On reaching office I started executing test cases without wasting any time.Today I had to complete 66 test
cases.At 1:00 PM I was at 185th test case. I was afraid that I wont be able to complete my test execution.
I had to complete all the execution today because I am taking leave tomorrow. I sat till 5:00 PM and completed
all the test execution and defect tracker. I couldnt write Defect priority and seviority so I asked ebrahim to
ask somebody to do it for me as I am taking leave tomorrow. He said ok.....then He said that on 9th day my pending
test cases should be 77 as he has sent that figure to karna....but according to my Execution tracker all my test
cases are over and what ebrahim is saying was wrong and I will have 10 more pending test cases If he writes 77 test
cases as pending in sheet.
Day -------------Total Test cases---Testcases Executed----Remaining Test cases
On 11th(Thursday)--------------226------------------16----------------210
On 12th(Friday)----------------210------------------16----------------194
On 15th(Monday)----------------194------------------16----------------178
On 16th(Tuesday)---------------178------------------16----------------162
On 17th(wednesday)-------------162------------------16----------------146
On 18th(Thursday)--------------146------------------16----------------130
On 19th(Friday)----------------130------------------16----------------114
On 22nd(Monday)----------------114------------------16----------------98
On 23rd(Tuesday)--------------- 98------------------32----------------66
On 24th(Wednesday)------------- 66------------------66----------------0

You can see in the table above that the remaining test cases on 24th is 0.
According to ebrahim he has sent karna that on 23rd Total test cases were 77.
But then I will have -21 Test cases Remaining on 24th i.e I will have to
delete 21 test cases to make the execution tracker correct but then I will
be asked tht there were total 226 test cases and you are showing less...
why ....where are the other test cases....But ebrahim was not ready to listen
to me ...He just want to correct his mistake .....and wanted to make changes
in my correct Execution tracker which will make it incorrect. I was already
late so I said I cant do any thing and I dont want to make any changes in my
trackers because of you....and left him in angry mood......I think he was
angry on Anil and jaguu who were not able to complete their work and
was taking out his anger on me.......On my way back to home I called hafeez
and told him what ebrahim was saying then he said he will look in to the matter
next day......At 8:10 PM I called up ebrahim to make him clear that he was
wrong....He said I was right and said that he sent karna what I have written...
So this is how I spent my day .........

Got salary today

Today I wanted to reach office early. So I woke up at about 7:00 AM. Washed my hairs.
Got ready and ran to the bus stop. I got direct bus to my destination. I reached my
destination at 9:00 AM. On reaching office I started my work because I had lot of work to
do and tomorrow was the dead line for completing our project.I could execute only 5-6 test cases
yesterday but Ebrahim wrote in execution tracker that I have executed 16 test cases. Today I have
executed total of 51 test cases. Since ebrahim wrote 16 in tracker, so 10 test cases from today goes to
yesterdays account and the remaining were 41. I could write Defect tracker for 31 test cases, so I have
decided to add remaining 41-31 test cases to tomorrows account. Any how I have to complete
all the work tomorrow. The total no of test cases to be executed tomorrow are 226-160-10=56.
According to the spped with which I have done today I will be able to complete only 40 test cases.
I dono whats going to happen.....When I was busy with my test cases Vasudha came and said that
Ahmed asked me to come and collect my salary. She also asked me if I will give Ahmed her Rs 23.
I said ok....She came back and was giving me money...I extended my left hand for money....
but she was just standing ...not ready to give me money...I asked her what...She said not in this
hand ..I will give in right hand ....I said ok and was controlling my laugh.....I went to Ahmed. He
gave me Rs.9355 as Aug-Sep salary. On asking him why I am paid so less he said that I took leave on
26th Aug, 1st sep and 4th sep.....I said ok and signed the slip.....I came back to my PC and checked
the daily status and Time sheet......I found that I have entry of 26th and 4th leave....But I was
present on 1st.....I went back and told Ahmed....He said I will check the register at security and
asked me to meet him after 1:00 PM. I went and met him after 1:00 he called the security and asked
if I was present on 1st but he said I was absent on that day.....I was not ready to believe them...
So Ahmed told me to go and check the file at security....I went and checked and found that I by mistake
signed in the upper row and the person who's row it was didnt inform this to security and signed his
signature beside mine......My signature place was empty so I was taken as absent....I went and told that
to Ahmed.....He said that he cant do any thing now but he will try to make it to the next months salary...
but he also said that he cant promis....He will just try....I went and told this to Rambabu.....He spoke
with Ahmed after that he said that my signature is not there so they cant help me.......I said I will get
the file and show you he said ok.....I went down ....brought the file and showed it to Rambabu......
On seing it he said that I Intentionally signed it in the upper colum and said that ...I was actually
absent on that day.....I got angry but was controlling it.....I started arguing with him ....How he can
tell that it was an Intentional mistake.....He told me to show it to Ahmed.......I went up and showed it
to Ahmed ...He said I told you I will try to help you next month....I told what Rambabu said ...He came
with me to Rambabus cabin with the file......Rambabu was again saying the same thing then I showed him
that my signature was the first one not the second one .....If it would have been the second one then
his saying that it was an intentional mistake would have made some sense but in my case the sign of person
whose this signature box was in the left corner i.e after my signature........Then rambabu came to know
what I was telling.....He asked Ahmed if he could help me ....He said he cant do anything now ......
After making them understand I left the cabin....They were still talking.....From their talk I sensed
that they cant help me in getting money but if I take leave next month then they will put me as
present on that day.......I had wasted enough of my time behind these people....I got late again today..
I left office at 4:16 PM. I was worried that I wont be able to reach home on time.....But god helped me
by letting me get a direct bus while on my way to sec station.......ok ....I want to go now...mom just now
made maggy for me......I have to take my dinner.......bye.....will write tomorrow if I remain alive tomorrow...

Slipped while boarding running Bus

Today I finished the work with defect tracker.We had meeting with karna.
He said I am very slow.I was Executing test cases like 30 per day but karna wanted
us to do 50 to 60 per day. We had been given dead line. We had two more days to
finish the work. But I dont think its possible for me to complete it in two days.
I left for home at 4:15 PM. I was worried that I might not reach home on time.
I was in a little hurry and due to that I tried catching running Bus. I slipped
dawn the bus and got hurt. My pant got torn.......Got scraches on my left palm and left
knee with bleeding. I was afraid that I might get body pain and fever due to pain.
This was the second time I slipped from Bus after I joined this job. while on my
way to home I bought pain killer. I slept early than the usual time. Didnt take
the pain killer as I wanted to feel the pain.....This is just a body pain.......
The pain which my dad gave me .....I have to bare it till my life ends....

Songs seems like they were written for me

I have few songs on my system. When ever I do something I listen to these
songs. One of my favourite songs is

In aansuown se kisko kya huaa hasil,
maana kehna hai aasaan nibhaana hai mushkil,
phir bhi aye yaar mere, sunle meri ilteja,
bhool ja jow huaa use bhool ja,
hai kasam tujhe muskura,
khudko yoon na de tu saza,
un yaadown ko too bhool jaa,
..........................
..............
............
teri zindigi teri hai,
kisi ki aamanat nahi,
jab chahe tode de ayesi ek emaarat nahi,
...................

When I listen to this song I feel like it has been written for me
I tried a lot to forget what had happend with me but couldnt do it.
How can I forget those days which made me mad. How can I forget that
my dad was with those people who made me mad. How can I forget that
my dreems were shatterd by them.....

har dil me armaan hote too hai,
bus koee samjhe zara.....

tinka tinka ,zara zara
hai rowshnee se bharaa,
tinka tinka,zara zara,
hai rowshee se bharaa,
har dil me armaa hote to hai,
har dil me armaa hote to hai,
bus koee samjhee zaraa....

yeh, I too had armaan. Those boys who pretended to be my friends asked
me. I told them what my ambition was.....and they completely destroyed my
dreems.....My dad, I am never going to forgive him.....He has done a lot for me,
that no father must have done to his son.....He has already pushed me in hell,
now he is trying to make me commit suiside...I have sensed that desire of his
many times....I know thats hard to believe but thats the truth......He knows
that I might take that step getting anoyed listing him saying again and again
that I am mad....I dont know but If I loose my mind....then I might give him
that gift....God bless him....

Didnt got time to write a single test case

Friday-September 19th 2008
It was the last day of my Bus pass Expiry. I went to stop early so that I can get it renewed. There was a big line and the counter was close. I missed my
bus.The opening time for counter was 8:00 AM. I was in the middle of the line with about 8 men in front and 8 men behind me. The counter opend at 8:05 AM. It was 8:20 but
not a single pass was renewd. An old man behind me got angry and started shouting at the lady on the counter. Then the lady said that the system is not getting
connected to the web site where they renew our passes. I thought its better for me to get my pass renewd tomorrow as I was already late. I got the bus at 9:00 AM.
I was in a bus which still had time and I didnt think that it would move for more 10-15 minutes. From the window I was another bus for my destination leaving. By the time
I came out of bus it already left. I ran throught another root and boarded it on the other sitde of the road when it was running at full speed. I felt
that the bus driver wantedly increased the speed of the bus. On our way we had a traffic jam before us. The driver changed the route without informing us. Every body started scolding him. Some of the passengers
got off the bus. It took us 20 minutes to be on our track throug other lanes. I reached office 20 minutes late. I had to prepare Execution tracker and Defect tracker.
I started working on them. It took me whole day to complete Execution tracker. I still had to work with the Defect tracker. The day was over and I didnt got time to even
write one test case. I will have to start with the defect tracker on monday. I am afraid its going to take a lot of time and I dont have any more extra test cases executed
to show on that day as work done......Today my elder syster called. After that my mom said that take care of your helth as you have to go abroad. I said to my
self lets see where I go abroad or to final destination.............

Another busy day

Thursady-September 18th 2008
I reached office 30 minutes early.I checked my mails and started working on my test case execution. I was glued to the system whole day even then I could
only execute 30 test cases....

Very busy Day

Wednesday-September 17th 2008
I left home for bus stop at 7:55 AM. I was close to bus stop. I saw a bus to my destination going. I ran to catch the bus because I knew that it
wont wait for pasengers. Luckily I managed to catch it.I reached the last stop at 9:15 AM. I was walking up the road to my office when I saw a bus
comming. I boarded the running bus. I didnt wait at the bus stop close to my office as I was not tired. I reached office and the first thing I did
was check mails. Before that I disable all the programs which give remore access to my system, as we were given administerators rights, as the
application which we are working on works with full permissions account only. To avoid work our admin gave us Administrators rights. Our admin dosn't
have much knowledge. I have noticed people opening sex sites at office. He told me that wait for 3-4 days after that I am Installing Linux After that
nobody will be able to use any website. I dont know how a Linux system blocks all the websites....After checking mails I started my work and wanted to
see how many test cases I can Execute. Inspite of working without taking rest I was managed to Execute only 30 test cases. I was shocked. We have been
given a dead line of 4 days and I have to complete 225 test cases. At this rate I wont be able to complete them. Lets see what happens....I was luckey
as my Application was working...Application on Ebrahims and Anils system got currupt when the power went off.I left office at 3:50 PM. I didt get the bus,
So I had to catch connecting busses. At one stop I had to run behind bus Which was about 150 steps away from me.....I went home and found out that the
boy who was staying with us for Ramadan didnt came back from his home. I was luckey today to break fast(Iftar) with my parents....He came after an hour...

Mood was off whole Day

Tuesday-September 16th 2008
I had a lot of work at office. Though I was Quiet busy mood was off whole Day because of what happend yesterday....My mom and Dad they
always make me angry and then when I get angry they say that ...I am mad.....I know them verry well. Their plan is to make me angry and
make me violent and put me in Mental Hospital....I know tham very well. I suffered a lot when I was in BCA. When I was mentally torchered
by my enemies I never said it to my dad thinking that he might get worried and that might effect his helth. But he was one of them who made
me mad......Thats what I was thinking why all my frieds were acting like they have joined my enemies.....What have I done....Why did they
do it to me........I trust no body now.....I dont have any feelings for and relations ...The pain which I got as a gift from my dad is
pushing me deeper and deeper in to hell.....I am doing Zulm on my life....Not eating properly ...Doing things against my likes...Doing
sins....When a father of mine can do this to me then how can I trust any body.....This life looks like hellacious to me......I lost Interest
in life......I don't know when this thing is going to end......."O Allahtala, Please Forgive me for my sins. You are the creator of the world.
You are very very generous. You are the only one who has the right to pardon me....".............

They always lie

Monday-September 15th 2008
After working till 11:00 Ebrahim asked us all to come to meeting room.We have been asking for Id cards and salary slips
from a very long time. Now some body from office said Ebrahim that we wont get Id cards and we will have to do with temp id
cards which were issued to us. They lied us all the time. When we joined technologies we were we were promissed that we will
be provided bank accounts and pay slips. But now in office they say that they dont know what they promissed when we joined.
we were very angry on them. They said that they will provide us all the necessary documents when we finish the six months
training period. I think they are making us fool again. They are lying agian..........At home today dad brought home a boy
who is away from his home and finding dificulty in sahar(break fast). I told mom and dad that if he is going to stay with us
for Ramdan then he should be searved upstars. But I knew what dad will do.....He made the body do iftar with them....I had to
do iftar in room alone as I dont like eating with straingers......Now I have to eat Iftar, Dinner and Break fast (sahar) in room.
I think thats going to happen for the Remaining 15 days of Ramadan.....This shows how much my mom and Dad loves me.....They knew
I wont like and to make me angry they did it....other wise whats the need to allow a stranger of age 26 years have food with family...

Couldnt go for Interview

Sunday-September 14th 2008
I still had fever. I wanted to go for interview. At 2:00 PM I started getting ready for Interview. I had to
take printouts of CV but the printer was giving problem. I didnt use printer from a very long time and didnt
even think that it could give problem.It took few hours for me to solve the problem.So I couldnt go to Interview.
I thought to myself that may be it was good for me. God didnt wanted me to go to Interview on that day.I think next
time the printer problem will not come into picture because I have taken out the printouts.....At 8:00 PM I checked my
mobile and found two missed calls one was Hafeez's and the other was not from my contacts.....I will call Hafeez tomorrow.
I know he might have called to know how my Interview was.....

Delhi Rocks with Bomb Blasts

Saturday-September 13th 2008
I still had fever and my nose was running heavily. I was sleeping almost all day due to weakness.
I wanted to prepare myself for Interview today but it couldnt happen. After Iftar I swiched on TV
and saw a Breaking News.It was the News of serial blasts rocking New Delhi.The first blast took
place at about 6:10 PM.Followed by 4 more blasts within 45 minutes. Most of the bombs were placed in
Garbage bins. Atleast 28 people were confermed Dead and 90 Injured. police have found 5 more live bombs
from India gate and Central park and defused them.Police have questioned a 12 year boy, a baloon seller,
who was an eye witness to a blast. Government has announced to give 3 lakhs to the Kins of Dead and Rs 50,000 to
the Injured. They have also announced free treetment to the Injured. Police has detained one person as a
suspect behind attacks. Somebody calling himself Indian Mujaheedeen has taken the responsibility of these
attacks. The E-Mail has been traced. It was sent from Bombays private limited. Some say there could be the
hand of crosborder terrorists. But I think that some body else has done this and wants to defame muslims
saying that they are doing jihaad. killing Innocent people is not called jihaad and no muslim will do that.
I think that these attacks were to defame muslims.....It was the cowardice act....

Fever day

Friday-September 12th 2008
I went to office and started working as I had lot of work to do. Anand our network admin said
that he will Install OS that day so he asked me not to save any thing in the c: drive. The other
day Hafeez told me that there are interviews on 13th and 14th of sep for Tech support. I asked him
if he could company me because it will be a great help being a dummy candidate. He said he cant as
he has work.......I didnt like him denying me because he does a lot for Binik, Anzir and Faizy.
This was the first time I had asked his favor and he denied me and so my mood was off today....
I was sneezing whole day...got body pain too.....It was our day of having telephone meeting with
Karna.The meeting time was 2:00 PM i.e After coming from prayer....It was 2:00 PM but there was no
call from Karna...I was afraid that they may ask us to stay after 4:00 PM for meeting.....I was
afraid because I dont know what to say Karna...He will ask how many test cases I have Executed.
I have deleted all the pass logs and defect logs for the test cases which I Executed when my test
cases were getting revied. After getting revied I added some more test cases in the middle so the
order of pass logs and defect logs have gone wrong so I had to delete all of them.....I was watching
time it was 3:00 then ...3:30... 4:00 PM No meeting till now...After 4:00 PM Dev called us in for the
meeting...He said that he will tell Karna about 4 people who were miss using Internet connection.
The 2 people amoung 4 were chandu and Anil....Dev said that Chandu is too much...He was checking
Matrimonials at office when he was caught by Dev.We went down on ground flore to make a call to Karna.
He said he will be with us in 15 minutes.It was 4:15 PM. I asked Dev again if i could leave because
when I leave office at 4:00,I reach home just before time of Iftar,and now it was 4:15 .He asked
Ebrahim,our spok, if they should let me go or not because then Hafeez too will ask and they cant allow him to
go as he is backup spok.They decided to let me go.I got the bus at 4:30 PM. After reaching home
I discovered that I got fever.I wanted to downlod my CV and make changes to it to attend the Interview
but the net connection was not there.I called krishna our ISP technician to ask him to repair it but
he was not receiving the call....Finally when he received the call he said that it was 9:00 and the
office will be closed so he can only do it tomorrow morning at 10:00 .I forgot every thing about
Hardware and Networking so I decided to go through my notes. I was up till 2:00 AM.......

Got warning from Karna

Thursday-September 11th 2008
Today I reached bus stop early.My bag was on 8th position but when the people formed line I was second last in
line because elder people who were in line before me allowed their friend including both young and old to enter
in line from middle.This always happens so I prefer to take other busses which take 30 minutes late to my destination.
Today also I was standing in line for the bus to come.Just then other bus came with 3-4 seets left.I ran for the bus
and thanks to god that I was luckey to get seat.I reached office 45 minutes early.I wanted to check my mails but
net connection was disabled.I checked my outlook.It had a mail which I didnt check yesterday as I was getting late.
The mail was from Karna.The font of the text in mail was red to indicate that he was very very angry.......In mail
he wrote "who ever is using Internet for personal use. I will take action against him. We know who are making missuse
of office netconnection. This is last warning" I think they were indirectly warning me because yesterday I forgot to
clear the history of Internet Explorer which I always used to do. Few minutes after reading mail Rambabu came in and
said that "Inspite of repeated instructions to you. You people are not swiching off the systems after shutting them down.
If you will leave it like that we will take action against you" This warning was also for me because I wantedly didn't
swich it off yesterday. The reason they ask to swich it off is that when the power goes off and comes back the computer
systems automatically turns on and they remain open till somebody comes next day and shuts the PC's down. Actually what could
have happend is, Since I left the swich on, when the power might have returned after failure, the PC which I use might have
got turned on and the system admin who saw it might have checked my system and might have seen the Internet Explorers history
and the ppt file which I downloaded from my email account sent by Hina.This is how he might have come to know about me
using Internet connection for checking mails. He might have sent mail to karna because nobody was listening to Anand(system admin)
inspite of repeted warnings and blockage of few sites.Befor I read the mail I had downloaded my CV from my Email account to
update it and had updated it.But after reading I got worried how I will be upload the updated CV to my Email account.I cecke the
Internet settings and found that some Remote viewing software was installed on system and was enabled.Few other options were
also enabled which will give good access to my system from other systems.So I disabled them. I didnt use net connection after doing
those changes to the Internet settings and was working on my test execution.Just then Anand came and stood at my PC and asked
me to give him his pen drive which he gave me as it was not working on any system and asked me to keep it for myself if it worked.
Actually he knew that the pen drive will not work and the reason him coming to my PC was to see what I was doing as he might not
have got access to my PC after I disabled the Internet settings.I said that I will return his pen drive tomorrow.As he moved away
from my PC I immediately restored the Internet settings as I was not using net.It was time for prayer so I went to Mosque.While
returning back from office I saw Farhat chacha coming out of mosque.He didnt saw me.Today was the first day I saw him in mosque.He
work place was nearby this mosque so he might have come here to offer prayer. After returning to office I started writing test cases
,even thought the break time was not up, since I had to do a lot of work. When Ebrahim came he said that Karna had mailed him to
start Executing test case from tomorrow.He also sent a 15 day trial key of the Application. The mail was the response to Anils and
Ebrahims complain saying that their Application has got expired and the work had stopped due to that.I think Anand will install the
Application on my system too so that all the applications expire at the same time. We were given target date of completing the
execution.It was ten days after Installation of Application which starts from tomorrow.Anand started Application download on Ebrahims
system. My Application was working so I was working with my test cases. Today I wrote about 25 test cases and there were many more
to write which I thought I will do in parallel with the Execution from tomorrow.It was time to leave.So I and Hafeez left for
home.I reached home 30 minutes before Iftar time. After namaaz i watched TV and now its took some rest.Now its time for sleep.......
Good Night :-* ......

Executing test cases

Wednesday-September 10th 2008
In the morning I reached my destination at 9:15 and walked all the way up to the bus stop, where
I take rest, in 15 minutes.As I was sitting there i noticed that some people were trying to keep
eye on me.I can say that because few minutes back I have seen a familiar face going towards office
on bike.At office I was writing test cases which I have said earlier that I have forgotten to write.
I had to write 25 test cases again and again 3 times becase every time I write there will be a power cut
and my test cases were not saved.So I could finish my test cases only after 2:30 PM.I discussed with hafeez
if i could update my reviewd test case file.He said that after review its not allowed to modify the
test cases or add new test cases to the file.I met Dev and asked him if I can del 4 test cases and add 25
test cases.Thanks to god that He gave me a green signal.That signal was really important for me because
many of those test cases were fail test cases(Bugs).The whole day passed off and I couldnt start my
test case Execution on reviewd test cases even thoug we were writing in time sheet that we were executing
test cases.I think i will have to complete the Execution work as soon as possible because Anils Application
got expired and mine could expire any time.If it happens then it will be a big headache for me later.
I filled the time sheet and had to leave office without hafeez as Ebrahim was on leave today too.It
didnt took me long to get the bus.So I reached home very early.On my way back to home I was looking
for people who are following me but couldnt make out.Yes at some some points I have seen bikers stop
at the road side as they saw me looking at them through bus.I am not shore if they were the followers.
I was swiching busses all the way to home today.I got very tired today ........and I think I'am going
to sleep early today...haha....

Some body trying to give me mental torture again

Tuesday-September 9th 2008
I got the bus today fater a very long time.Few minutes late and i would have missed it again.
I got down at my stop and walked all the way up to TV9 stations office. Took some rest at the
bus stop there as i always do.Then start for office just 5 minutes before 10:00 AM.At office first
i checked my mails.I got reply from suh bhai.He wrote "read the complete mail and answer all my
questions." I know what he ment he wanted to know how i am doing at my office but i have already
written it to him and dont want to write it again as it was not going well with me.So i replied
that "I dont have reply to your questions".After replying to suh's mail i started writing test cases.
Thought i have forwarded my test cases I found that i have forgotten to write few test cases.
After reviewing my test cases Dev said that i did well.He meant to say that i did better
than Ebrahim.I think Dev wants to fool me.I know i have found bugs in the application but
all the test cases i have written are incorrect.Dev wants to fool me by saying that and want
to get rid of checking all the test cases.I know i can't do better than Ebrahim because he
has worked in some comepany before joining this company as software tester.so that proves that Dev
wanted to fool me...ha ...ha.Today two persons came to meet chandu at office at
around 30 minutes before 4:00 PM(I leave office at this time).He brought in some parcel after
meeting them.Ebrahim was absent today so Hafeez was acting as backup spok and was buzy with
his work.So i had to leave office alone.When i came out i saw two people keeping eye on office
exit.As I went out they saw me and disconnected the phone which they were talking on.Then they
went and sat on the metalick chair at bus stop which was exactly opposit to our office.I went and
sat just few steps away from them.A cab came in and asked them if they want to come with them
but that fellow he showed that we are three and you dont have much space in your car(but they were two).
I looked around but there was nobody else other than me.I understood that the third person was
me and they want to follow me.The call which they have disconnected when i was comming out of
office was from chandu telling them that i am comming out so that they can keep track of me.
I know I am not mad because it happend to me earlier too and i can understand human psycology
a little bit.I took sharing auto which had only one place left for passenger.That way i gave them a hand.
When I reached down the road.There was my little bro waiting for bus.We both came back home together.
I know today I showed them my back and they will follow me one day to my home.But I wont leave
the person following me and trying to disturb me mentally.Not again....this time the follower will
have to pay heavy price.I dont care what ever happens to me later as people say i am mad.
The other day phunny asked me at what time i reached home previous day.I think that was to guess
how much time they will take to reach their home after followning me.These non-muslims at office
they pretend to be my good friend at office but i know them verry well.They are my enimies waring
mask of friendship..........Lets see what happens tomorrow.

Recieved suhail bhaiyyas mail today

Monday-September 8th 2008

Thare was nothing to do at office as our teem's test case's were gone for review.I was just

doing time pass googling on internet when Rambabu and Dev were not around.I checked my hotmail,

then rediff, then sify, then yahoo.When i checked my yahoo account i found suhail bhaiyas mail

in which he wrote that he has changed the job and this one had better pay than the last one.

He said that he can now call his family too.He said that he can help me in sponsoring........

But I know people very well by now....they show you hope then they break you down when you are

close to reaching you goal....I am already broken...I dont want to fall pray to any of these

false dreems.....

Day in Tears

Sunday-September 7th 2008

Its sunday.Its 6th day of Ramadan.The whole day went in tears. I don't know why god created me.....I am not

 happy with my life.....I am just waiting for it to end...........I know its sin to think like that but

 i am all broken......

Off day to office

Saturday-September 6th 2008
Its saterday so its off day to office.My elder sister was leaving for UK so mom and dad went to
leave her at airport.They wanted me too to come with them but i didnt go.I am loosing interest in
relation ships.I am loosing interest in life.I feel like nobody cares for me.I was sleeping
whole day.I was thinking if i would ever achive something in life.I think i will be a big looser both
here and in life after death.I cry every day when i am alone by the thought that i will be in the
deep hell one day only because of my dad.He is pusshing me deeper and deeper every day.He has
shattered all my dreems.................My mom and dad told shaistas parents that they like her but
will not marry her till i get the job.They want them to wait till i get the job with out getting
engaged........Now you will clearly know how much my mom and dad loves me.They want to fool me...huh.....
They want somebody to wait for me without getting engaged till i get the job...Why would any body
do that....

Another boring day

Friday-September 5th 2008
I still had pain in my lower back.My monitor was not working.When it got repaired i swiched my
PC on and checked for mails then phunny passed behind me then i remembered what he did.I wanted
to talk to him but couldnt as it was office hours.So i wrote him mail.I wrote him that we are
no kids to play such jokes.What if that lady commits suicide.Who will be responsible for it.
In few minutes i saw him comming towards me with a smiling face.He told me not to worry....about
that lady as it was a recorded message.....He wanted to make a call on the no 09371272497 and
listen to it again....I said its ok...That made me some what relieved. Later after Friday prayer
we had MOM meeting with Karna.I was getting late for home because of meeting.I leave office exactly
at 4:00 PM so that i dont get later for Iftar.But today i had to leave office at 4:15 PM because of
meeting.After my interraction with karna i took Dev's permission and left the meeting hall as the
meeting continued.I didnt had the time to fill time sheet so i requested Ebrahim to fill my Time Sheet.
I got the bus for Secundrabad in few minutes.When we were crossing panjagutta flyover i noticed that
a bus was speeding towards our bus.As it closed in i could read it clearly it was ECIL X Road Bus
and thats the bus i wanted to board.I just jumped down the running bus and boarded the bus
behind us.Thanks to god I got the seat.I reached home 30 minutes early due to swiching of busses.

Pain in my back

Thursday-September 4th 2008
There is nothing much to write today.I called up to spok and told him that I won't be coming
to office.I had stomuchake.After 30 minutes the stomuchake was gone but a pain in my lower back
developed.I was sleeping most part of the day.Baji was going to her sasural so every body was
busy.We released two parrots which we bought for kids.The whole day was over but i could still
feel the pain in my back.

Got mentally disturbed

Wednesday-September 3rd 2008
TOday its off day to office since its vinayak chaturti.I was reading news paper when i got a message on
my cell phone from phunny.It said "Some body was enquiring about you from this no 0937127249*.Pls spk to
the person".I called and found out that it was a no of some lady who is fed up of receiving
annonimous calls.I just disconnected the phone when i realized what was happening and messaged her from
her from whome i got her no.Its 9:00 PM and i couldnt forget what had happend today morning.
That women had great pain in her voice.They are torchering her mentally.Who will be responsible
if she commits suicide........

Tuesday-September 2nd 2008
Today was the first day of Ramadan.As usual i didnt get the bus so i had to walk all the way
up till TV9 channels office from panjagutta.All the muslim boys were worried because karna didnt
mail back about leaving office one hour early during Ramadan.They all started mailing and
telling that if you want we can come one hour early in the morning to cover up.I and hafeez met
with Dev in person to know what decesion they have taken.Dev told that its for relegious purpose
so its granted.when we came back we came to know that Faizy got mail from karna that he is
granted one hour early leave during Ramadan and that he should come one hour early in the morning
....ha ..ha........In the evening i was the first to get out of the office as others were busy
doing thinds.I Remembered that i didnt brought dates to break fast in case i get late for home.
When i reached TV9 Stations stop I found hafeez and Banglore Guys There.We waited there for 20 min.
Then leaving hafeez there to note the bus timings I,Anzeer,Faizy and Binin took sharing auto
for panjagutta.I reached secundrabad at 5:00 PM.Then was at ECIL X Road at 5:55 PM.
After reaching home i took some rest then it was time for Iftar.This is how my first day of
Ramadan has passed off.

Monday-September 1st 2008
It was a boring day at office as i had nothing to do.I have compleated my testcases,scenarios and
conditions. I know they are all wrong but i cant do any thing.I asked Ebrahim what to write in
man hour he said lets write scenario and he also told me not to make changes in the work sheet
as he has passed them on for review.So i just spent my time browsing internet when ever i got time.
Tomorrow is the start of Ramadan.I mailed karna on frieday on behalf of all the muslims on our
flore requesting for leaving us one hour early during Ramadan.Got reply that he will come tomorrow.
But his Tomorrow didnt came till today.I and Hafeez met Rambabu regarding this.He said he will
talk to Dev tomorrow as he might have got some information about it and he assured us that
they will approve it as its for relegious perpose.While coming out of office hafeez asked for Rs100
I said i have only 50 and gave it to him.He was going to charminar to buy Kalaam-E-Paak for Binnin
where he wanted to buy some dates too.I thought later that i will ask him to use that money to
buy iftari for him from my side.

Sunday-August 31st 2008
Today is sunday i have spent my day on computer.I have taken 2 wadas as my break fast.I didn't
take my lunch because i was angry with my father.every time i think of him i just cant control
my anger and my actions show that i am very angry.due to this my mom says that you have stopped
your medicine thats the reason why you are doing this.but i know i am fine.I was crying whole day
if he would have let me go to australia i would have got my PR till now.i told i cant study i will take some easy courses and compleat my studies there and
spend the time needed to get the PR after that i will do odd jobs and earn the mony.But what
excuse he gave me for not sending to australia is they exploit people.On the other hand he
used to give me examples of rikshaw wala,bandi wala.I have seen the only father in my life
who didnt wanted his sone to earn good money.i dont know why.He can see me becoming riksha wala here
he can see me becoming bandi wala here but he didnt wanted me to get exploited in australia.
I suspect my dad was one of them who made me mad.............He always liked playing with psycology.
since the time he broke my hart i have started doing zulm with my self.I am not happy with life.
I know any how i am going to hell because of my dad.Then why should i be good person.....yes...
I will comit every sin i can do ...........be it anything....I have so many dreems which my
dad has shattered.....yeh it dosent matter to them they just want me to live with
the earning of 4000-5000 Rs.They will live with thir engineer son and who is going to suffer
yes its me who will suffer....because i couldent be a success full person.I dont want to go
to gulf.because i dont want to listen to them when they didnt send me where i want to go then
why should i listen to them.........My mom used to ask me to buy new bike but i didnt wanted
to waste money since we had old scooter at home and it was working well....its not that i
dont want new bike but i felt it to be fuzool kharchi...I was many boys using costly cell phones
Even i wanted one but never said any body any thing since i had one that was cheep one and
i used to console my self that its sufficient for you to make calls...but that dosent meen that
i didnt wanted those costly phone.....I dont know what made my mom and dad think that i can
live life with this RS 4000-5000 job.That shows that they really never cared for me.
Today i told my father not to talk to me because when ever he talks to me a volcano errupts
in me i cant control my anger.My mom said she will also not talk with me. I told in my mind
that its ok i dont want to talk to anybody till i die.I am not happy with anybody.One more thing
when my dad was talking about my rishta with arshiya baji on phone she said some thing on phone
his reply to that was uski zindagi kharaab nai hojari.This is how much my so called dad
loves me.He can think good of any body in the world but not me.I dont know what i did to him
.